For years I operated in 2 different worlds. In my business life I was fierce and solid and confident. I was an authority figure and was unconcerned if others liked what I said or what I told them to do. I was educated, resourceful, confident, and authoritative. I had education and resources to back my decisions. I was confident that I was doing what needed to be done in the best way. I could collaborate and communicate to reach the goal of the company and the workers. In this world I was Rose, funny, smart, firm and confident.
In my other world where I was known as Rose Marie, I hid all my Rose qualities. Rose Marie is my legal name and the name that my family and close friends use. As Rose Marie I was in the shadows and turned myself inside out to please others. I would drop everything to help a family member or friend. I changed who I was to be acceptable to others. I did not believe I was worthy or deserving to be included and liked or scene. I let others take the credit for work I completed for them. I was the fall-back plan; the if nothing else comes along. I was the one that others cancelled plans with last minute.Book Now
I entered the world of life coaching thinking I was going to figure out how to get other people to stop crossing my boundaries. I was going to have all the tools to get them to change how they treated me.
Then the shift happened; through this work I learned that I was the one crossing my boundaries! Wait what me? How can that be? I am strong, fierce and a force to be reckoned with; except that attitude only existed in my head or when I was in the Rose persona. I was a victim; wasn’t I? I had all kinds of excuses as to why I could not uphold or even verbalize my boundaries, they need me, I have the time, if I do it, they will like me, If I do it for them, I will save them from problems the list of excuses and justifications was long. Then I did the work on my own boundaries and worth and reinvented myself. Now I am making boundaries that stick and that I can verbalize. I value my own worth and make decisions based on my wants/needs and not to be liked or needed.
I am continually working on becoming the best of Rose and Rose Marie in all areas of my life. It is an ongoing process of listening to me and honoring me. Each situation is viewed through a lens that values me first and it feels freeing and right.
If you find yourself identifying with any of this; take the first step and book your discovery session now.Book Now